Love at First 'Site'

You walk into a crowded bar, the potent smell of sweat, sick, and feet in the air (results of the recent non-smoking ban). A Basement Jaxx song thumps ear-bleedingly loud in the background. As the elbow of an annoying 18 year old wannabe WAG, in a dress short enough to double as a scarf, knocks your ridiculously over-priced double Bacardi and Coke out of your hand and sends it pouring down the front of your £15 Primark tunic dress, you look across the room for the nearest, pay-the-lady-who-sits-in-a-toilet-all-night-and-charges-for-the-luxury-of-soap-aided-cleanliness, bathroom and happen to catch the eye of a handsome stranger.

Realising that, in your current drowned rat condition, you’re staring at this mysterious foreigner you duck your head and make a beeline to the aforementioned ladies room, only to be stopped by a strong, yet strangely delicate, hand on your arm.

Looking up, you realise that the contradictory limb belongs to none other than the recent object of your affection. Your heart skips a beat as he leans closer, whispers a greeting in your ear, tells you that he regretfully has to leave but would love to see you again, and slips a small piece of paper in your hand before turning on his heels and walking (or was it floating?) out the front door.

What follows is a very nervous first-contact telephone call, prompted by the scribbled note that sat on your kitchen bench for 3 days while you worked up the nerve to throw caution to the wind and call him. Several dates subsequent this first interaction, with the nervous nausea diminishing each time, until one day you turn around and realise that the fetching gentleman with the laughing 3 year old on his shoulders is your beloved husband, effortlessly providing the transportation needs of your youngest child.

Now I know most love stories aren’t this fairy tale like but wouldn’t we all like to think that the copious amount of nights out with the ladies would one day end in this boy-meets-girl utopia?

But it seems with the new technologies being introduced every day, scenarios like this are a thing of the past. Internet dating sites, online social networking, and simulation programs mean you can meet, fall in love, and have a relationship with your chosen partner without ever having to set eyes (or hands) on them.

Websites such as Match.com and DatingDirect have taken the hard work and, some would say, excitement out of the dating game by allowing couples to meet and chat online. Users can send their crush a wink, a virtual rose, and can even dedicate a song to them. And who said romance was dead?!

First it was the impersonal form of text messaging, then the dating scene welcomed Instant Messenger and now it seems that the Internet is becoming the most popular method for “Picking up chicks” or “Finding a fella”.

It seems that the local café, movie theatre, or night time hot spot has been replaced by anywhere that provides an Internet connection. Dates can take place in the back seat of a bus if technology allows.

And if the “next step” for virtual daters (i.e: actually meeting the person face to face) seems too overwhelming, programs such as Second Life are the perfect solution for the yellow bellies.

With this software you can experience the long walk on the beach atmosphere while engaging in real-time conversations using voice chat. There are a number of date simulations for you and your lucky someone to get involved in.

So it’s with a begrudging sigh that I say goodbye to my knight in shining armour (or at least stud in Calvin Klein) fantasy and admit that the next time I get ready for my “big date” it may only be a case of charging up the laptop and boiling the kettle.

We shop online for our cars, our groceries, our clothes and now it seems we need to add “life partner” to that list. Oh well, let’s just hope they have what I want in stock!!